LiLo is broke again! What happens to people with Shoe addictions

Forget the drugs, forget the alcohol, forget being so high that you spend half the year in the courts trying to explain why you steal jewellery and just can’t  bring yourself to pull your shit together!

Here’s the thing. My girl Lindsay is broke OK. She hasn’t worked since 2008 and all her savings seem to be disappearing up her nose in the form of white powder.

I mean this crazy judge expects her to go to counselling when she can’t afford it! She’s Lindsay Lohan for Christ sake. It’s not like she can go to common people’s off key AA type sessions where she’ll be hounded by paparazzi and an array of fans. No No, that won’t do. She needs to get a $1000 an hour counsellor to bring out her demons but  what the judge needs to understand is that LiLo is having a little cash flow problem.

What else is a girl to do when she has to choose between a pair of glorious Christian Louboutin  Madame butterfly’s  or spend an hour  listening to some nerd psycho babble on about turning your life around? Have you seen the Madame butterfly’s? .Who needs to be sane when you have these shoes by your side? Damn I would plead insanity and poverty if someone could hook me up with these babies !

People need to give LiLo a break. She is a shoeaholic like me and us shoe freaks need to stick together damn it!  Quite frankly I think all should be forgiven if you can come to court wearing a pair of 6 inch heels! This is a skill that the judge has clearly not appreciated! Lindsay…. some people may think that this was one of the stupidest PR  boo ha’s you have pulled  but not me girl, I’m with you 😉

Who needs counselling when you got these shoes?

So now can you understand why Lilo is broke??

LA fashion Calling………………………..

In case you were wondering where the hell I’ve been ( and missing me lots) I have been on holiday. I’ve just arrived from a two week break in LA and I had the most amazing time! I did it all; Weekend in Vegas, Santa Monica beach, Hollywood bowl, Poolside, beach parties and most importantly shopping! Because I used to live there, I knew exactly what i was craving and what I needed to buy. LA fashion is all about the casual, cool , and effortlessly sexy look. ( think Nicole Richie, the Olsen twins, Kelis and on her good day Kelly Osborne) I always stock up on jeans, cute tops, t-shirts and costume jewellery. My favourite place to shop would have to be Melrose because you can find the best unique pieces in vintage shops. Melrose is like an up market Shoreditch/Camden but what I love is that I can buy bits that i know no one is going to wear back in the UK. I spent an entire day walking round and got some really amazing stuff. My favourite vintage store would have to be Wasteland . It has EVERYTHING! Jackets, vintage dresses, leather coats, retro sunglasses, I just wanted to buy the entire store!  I took a few snaps from my phone so photos aren’t great but looooook!

I also  got a whole bunch of bracelets too which I love!

LA fashion is the bomb! I will do a post later to show you all the rest of the bits I got. Excitement! 🙂

Is it me or is the Ginger one from Girls Aloud Looking GOOD???

Well Well Well what do we have here?  Seems like a certain Girls Aloud member has had enough of being in the shadow as the ‘ginger’ one.  Nicola Roberts is looking hot hot hot! You see ladies, all you need to do is embrace the assets god gave you ( and hire a hell of a stylist) and you can shine! Gone is the fake tan, gone are the bad clothes and the new and improved Nicola actually looks like a porcelain super model! And her clothes? The girl has really put herself together. The thing about Nicola is that she is not afraid to use colour or be bold and seems to be really finding herself with her new style. Her look seems to be influenced by a 60’s retro flair mixed with Chanel classy chic and I  have to say… I really like it!!!! I am soo OVER Cheryl Cole it’s beyond funny! Girlfriend really needs to take a break, have some rug rats with her love rat and let someone else  have a go at being the limelight. Nicola certainly seems to be the girl with a bright future and her new song ‘Beat of the drum‘ is pretty cool too. You go girl!

And look at how she looked a while ago…………

When bad clothes happen to ginger people! Wowzers!

FINALLY! NAOMI IS LOOKING GOOD!

I was seriously worried that Naomi Campbell was totally losing it! And when I say losing it, I don’t mean throwing a blackberry at her new PA. No no.. I mean  losing her style, and fashion sense with a whole range of bad outfits and bad hair!  Finally  and thanfully, she decided to scrub up! Pictured here on the runway for her ‘fashion for relief’ charity event in Cannes, the catwalk queen is back!  The supermodel looked fabulous in both Yves Saint Laurent designs that I just want, want want! She exudes total chicness and showing the models of today how it’s done! Over the past couple of months, girlfriend has stepped out in some pretty frightening ensembles making me want to scream at her to ‘sack the stylist’ . And a few hair do’s  have also been questionable with some strange weaves!  Funky looking weaves are indeed the biggest fashion faux pas … ever! I know as ladies, we are allowed to go through  experimental/can’t be arsed looks. You can step out once or twice not looking your best  but then you need to get it together man! No excuses for Naomi, especially when you’re a world class supermodel!  Naomi, keep up the good look and don’t slip into the ‘I don’t care, I’m a supermodel’  phase because we noticed the slipping girl! Let’s look at the evidence shall we?

Supermodel or not.. NOBODY can get away with this look, It's like someone threw up on her! no no no no no!

First of all mutton lamb comes to mind. Second of all .. a bit lady of the night no?

This dress is so unflattering on her. Makes her look boxy and .. well kind of masculine. The cut of the fringe aint good either!

What’s a girl to wear to her royal wedding???

Royal mania is everywhere! You can’t really get away from it so if you can’t beat em, join them. The main thing that interests me is what on earth is Kate going to wear?? Talk about pressure; marrying a prince, becoming a princess with 2 billion people watching you worldwide! im surprised girl hasn’t had a nervous breakdown and booked herself in at the Priory! Looking at Kate’s style i think the dress is going to be pretty simple but classy. She doesn’t come across as a bold, look at me, look at me kind of girl so my prediction is the dress will be beautiful and look amazing on her but won’t really be too mad or out there. I’ve mocked up a few ideas of what her dress will look like. As for William…. well i’m sure it will be some army type get-up or even a kilt.  3 more days to go! Enjoy the royal and affair

Option 1- classic high neck with tail

Option 2- long arse vale with a heart shaped cut

option 3 - a little more puffy detail maybe???

It’s Summer Slimming Time!

It’s a very sad sad day when your ‘loose skinny jeans’ can barely do up and you are constantly finding handles of love that aint making you feel all warm and cosy inside! I think my new years resolution of getting fit and losing some Christmas weight lasted all of 1 month where i did hot yoga, zumba, pilates and no carbs after 7.  You guessed it… after all my rigorous training i lost the total of ……… O pounds so it’s no wonder I gave up on the whole palava. But now summer is creeping up and i’ll be dammed if I’m walking the beaches showcasing my extra fat baggage! Nope. I am back on the healthy vibe and thought I’d try something else for a change as the reduced carb shit is  clearly not working.

Its all about eating healthy and I don’t want to starve myself so I came across a really cool online program that may just help me shift this fat! JustSlim is a bespoke online meal plan designed by nutritionist Caroline Pearce  and she basically designs  daily meals for you based on your weight loss goal,  food preferences and  personal body statistics . The good thing is that  you get to eat six times a day, three main meals and three healthy snacks.  All the meals and snacks are balanced to make sure you’re eating the right amount of protein, carbohydrate and fat each day. My favourite part is that you get an e-mail with a shopping list telling you what you need to buy to make your meals! Totally saving me time when i shop for food and it means i’ll gradually know what to buy and the food groups that are good for you. I’m going to give this plan a proper go and eat well but healthy.  It seems to be the most logical way to go so lets hope I had the will power. Will keep you posted on operation weight loss! Wish me luck 😉

 

 

MY OLD BODY- I NEED YOU BACK!

CHUNKY KNITWEAR… IT’S NOT FOR EVERYONE!

We’ve all done it. A  season trend comes along that we love to death; leather trousers, playsuits, bright coloured jeans and capri pants; Yes we love them all. However ,we know deep  down that some of these trends will never look good on us. No matter how we try we just won’t manage to pull off those tight leather shorts we saw Kate Moss in recently and though we dream about them…. Well it aint never gonna happen! Today I have unfortunately come to the conclusion that Chunky Knitwear is one to be added to my list! I must have gone to at least 10 stores and tried on about 20 chunky tops and dresses and nearly every single one made me look like I was about to pop a baby any minute! Isn’t it so depressing when that happens? I had envisioned a gorgeous chunky jumper in my wardrobe that I would match with a pair of skinny jeans, some smart shorts ( when I find a pair that fits me) and even throwing them over some leggings! It just wasn’t meant to be and I’m going to have to give it up! I’m going to have to complain about all the false advertising going on here. Of course when u stick a pile of unfinished wool on a 6 foot mannequin its gonna look good! I am not a happy bunny. Oh well. On to my next must-have crush! 🙂

It’s Not You………… It’s your Shoes!

I had a really funny encounter with my friend last weekend .  We were out on the town  in London when she was chatted up by a guy at the bar. They seemed to get on.. he got her the drinks and as they were about to walk towards my direction she noticed his shoes! According to her, the shoes put her off completely and after she spotted them, she couldn’t get away from him fast enough! We had to bloody move to the other side of the bar! Shoes is a major important factor to her and if she meets a guy with bad shoes ( no matter how hot or nice he is), he’s out of the game! This really got me thinking because I have had a lot of conversations with other girlfriends who agree with her. Apparently men who wear awful shoes are a right turn off and girls I’ve spoken to have either gone off, dumped or even gone as far as escape from a date because the shoes were so bad! My friend is on the extreme side and seriously has a shoe issue. Personally I think there is a level of how bad a pair of shoes can be. I mean if my date turned up wearing a pair of boat shoes or grandpa loafers it would be a turn off BUT if he ticked all the other boxes of what I go for it would be a forgivable crime. I really want to know what you girlies think about this? What’s the deal with men with bad shoes???

Dear Spring Summer 11 Wardrobe, it’s time to get your act together!

Although the sun came out but for an hour today, it gave me hope! Hope that there is such thing as day light, sun and  a new wardrobe! I am soooo over my winter clothes it’s not even funny. Summer needs to get here before I lose my mind! The great thing about having more than one season though is that you can wear a whole bunch of new clothes! I just put a few dream key pieces together  that would really sort me out this year. I say ‘dream’ because as usual  I want everything !  If I don’t want to go bankrupt any time soon I just need a few key pieces in my wardrobe.  I reckon all I need is:

A Colourful Jacket: I always seem to buy black and grey colours to be safe but I really need a colourful jacket to brighten up my outfits and make them a bit summery! Block colours are really in this season so having a bold bright jacket is going to sort me right out

Skinny Jeans. I know they’ve been in fashion for ages but you can’t knock a pair of nice fitting skinny jeans. You have to find a pair/brand that fit your figure and J brand always work great for me. Although I would love to rock a bright green or white  pair, I always invest in black or dark denim as I can wear them all year round and they are more flattering to to my curves.

Sunglasses – Thankfully I’m sorted with these and I never go anywhere without my sunglasses. They live in my bag and definitely a necessity as soon as the sun starts shining

Shoes. A nice pair of wedges for the day, maybe some pumps if I’m dressing down and a lovely gorgeous pair of Jimmy Choo’s ( this is the dream bit ) if I’m out to dinner or a nice bar.

The list could go on but I think if you have a jacket,  nice pair of sunglasses, jeans and handbag you can make your wardrobe stretch out for the summer. Love it

How Can Something So Ugly feel Soooo Good????

I really did my best to give them up … but after living under my bed for over a year out they came. My old battered, odd Uggs! I know …Major fashion faux pas but they are soooo comfy! When it’s this bloody cold they’re the only thing to keep my feet warm. Now don’t get me wrong, it’s not like i’ll be wearing them out to dinner or anything, I mean these things  don’t go with anything I tell you ! I swore never to wear them again after seeing a hugely unflattering photo! Never mind the camera putting on 20 pounds on , a pair of Uggs won’t do you any favours either! And they’re not exactly pretty and dainty.We all have our guilty pleasures and I and I guess  my old pair of Uggs will have to be mine! Shhhhhhhhh it’s a secret 🙂